Linking to dVerse poetics and Lillian’s prompt to write “once upon a …”


once upon a yurt…

out on the barren steppe

below snowy mountain peak

where mongolian ponies gallop

beside smoky cow-dung fire ring

stirring pot of seasoned beef stew

aromas of ginger and garlic wafting

tickle nose of almond-eyed baby boy

who sneezes mightily into shadows of

future as conqueror-to-be, Genghis Khan





13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Just Barry
    Nov 03, 2018 @ 04:20:35

    Oh I like this one. A snapshot in time, chronicling the beginning of a long, dark shadow. The sensory elements really make this poem pop.


  2. Frank Hubeny
    Oct 31, 2018 @ 21:22:39

    Even Genghis Khan was once a baby.


  3. Beverly Crawford
    Oct 31, 2018 @ 18:19:59

    How you managed each line to be just a bit longer than the one before fascinated me, and I loved the progression of the story as well!


  4. Bjรถrn Rudberg (brudberg)
    Oct 31, 2018 @ 16:20:57

    Oh I knew from the title where you were going… but every big man has once been a little boy…


  5. Pat: willow88switches
    Oct 31, 2018 @ 10:18:33

    this definitely caught me off guard – for its originality — I was enchanted to be drawn outside, and your details were just perfect …. and then! Boom! At this point, I did start laughing … it delighted me; so every child, is, essentially, a child, with humble roots … as to where they end up?

    this has the flavour of the good old-fashioned fable to it … well done!


  6. lillian
    Oct 31, 2018 @ 07:40:41

    once upon a yurt…..sets us in the out-of-doors. And these words add wonder to th scene:
    “aromas of ginger and garlic wafting
    tickle nose of almond-eyed baby boy”
    Nice full circle from the title to the last words: Genghis Khan. Temuchin is Genghis Khan. Love this tale you’ve given us – a beginning tale.


  7. Gina
    Oct 31, 2018 @ 06:06:37

    a sense of being in the moment of this once upon an outdoor adventure, the smells lend an extra bit of dimension


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