moisture’s dew point

Kim at dVerse Poets hosts “rain” quadrille (44 words) prompt this week…

 

mist hangs thin veil

covers landscape, 

shrouds horizon.

sky heavy with humidity

air’s mood presses in,

mildly claustrophobic;

when clouds cannot rain.

 

hair hangs thick veil

covers face,

shrouds emotion.

heart heavy with futility

mind’s mood presses in,

wildly claustrophobic;

when tears cannot reign.

 

 

24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Colin Lee
    May 27, 2018 @ 20:08:50

    Such meticulously crafted mirroring of the mental with the physical, Lynn. Interesting title too, about the uncontainability of pressure. Rings true for many a claustrophobic heart in this claustrophobic world.

    Reply

  2. Gospel Isosceles
    May 24, 2018 @ 00:21:45

    The claustrophobia aspect is interesting here: how it’s not the dissipation of the clouds that would be freeing but the release of the pent up moisture.

    Reply

  3. Mish
    May 23, 2018 @ 20:18:08

    Oh I can feel this, the containment of pressure and emotion waiting for release. I love the way the two stanzas mirror each other.

    Reply

  4. jillys2016
    May 22, 2018 @ 18:52:33

    The echo is so well done, Lynn! And you have captured the mood(s) wonderfully.

    Reply

  5. mhmp77
    May 22, 2018 @ 18:17:50

    kaykuala

    The weather can reign in its power and makes one feel claustrophobic having to stay indoors!

    Hank

    Reply

  6. Grace
    May 22, 2018 @ 17:46:15

    I feel both are heavy with emotions, containing itself, rather than spilling out ~ Well done Lynn ~

    Reply

  7. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    May 22, 2018 @ 14:35:55

    The parallel between the weather and the emotion… waiting for rain, waiting for tears… the pressure building

    Reply

  8. Jo Aylard
    May 22, 2018 @ 13:07:47

    This piece feels claustrophobic — well done!

    Reply

  9. kim881
    May 22, 2018 @ 12:44:20

    I’m sorry I only just got around to reading your quadrille, Lynn – the day kind of got in the way!
    I like the imagery and love the play on words in the title and the lines::
    ‘mildly claustrophobic;
    when clouds cannot rain’
    and
    ‘wildly claustrophobic;
    when tears cannot reign’..

    Reply

  10. whimsygizmo
    May 22, 2018 @ 10:52:57

    I love the staccato feel of this, and the double “rain/reign.” Perfect.

    Reply

  11. Frank Hubeny
    May 22, 2018 @ 09:19:42

    It does seem more claustrophobic when the clouds can’t rain.

    Reply

  12. sanaarizvi
    May 22, 2018 @ 08:15:48

    This is absolutely awe-inspiring Lynn! 💜💜

    Reply

I welcome your comments!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: