moisture’s dew point

Kim at dVerse Poets hosts “rain” quadrille (44 words) prompt this week…


mist hangs thin veil

covers landscape, 

shrouds horizon.

sky heavy with humidity

air’s mood presses in,

mildly claustrophobic;

when clouds cannot rain.


hair hangs thick veil

covers face,

shrouds emotion.

heart heavy with futility

mind’s mood presses in,

wildly claustrophobic;

when tears cannot reign.



24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Colin Lee
    May 27, 2018 @ 20:08:50

    Such meticulously crafted mirroring of the mental with the physical, Lynn. Interesting title too, about the uncontainability of pressure. Rings true for many a claustrophobic heart in this claustrophobic world.


  2. Gospel Isosceles
    May 24, 2018 @ 00:21:45

    The claustrophobia aspect is interesting here: how it’s not the dissipation of the clouds that would be freeing but the release of the pent up moisture.


  3. Mish
    May 23, 2018 @ 20:18:08

    Oh I can feel this, the containment of pressure and emotion waiting for release. I love the way the two stanzas mirror each other.


  4. jillys2016
    May 22, 2018 @ 18:52:33

    The echo is so well done, Lynn! And you have captured the mood(s) wonderfully.


  5. mhmp77
    May 22, 2018 @ 18:17:50


    The weather can reign in its power and makes one feel claustrophobic having to stay indoors!



  6. Grace
    May 22, 2018 @ 17:46:15

    I feel both are heavy with emotions, containing itself, rather than spilling out ~ Well done Lynn ~


  7. Björn Rudberg (brudberg)
    May 22, 2018 @ 14:35:55

    The parallel between the weather and the emotion… waiting for rain, waiting for tears… the pressure building


  8. Jo Aylard
    May 22, 2018 @ 13:07:47

    This piece feels claustrophobic — well done!


  9. kim881
    May 22, 2018 @ 12:44:20

    I’m sorry I only just got around to reading your quadrille, Lynn – the day kind of got in the way!
    I like the imagery and love the play on words in the title and the lines::
    ‘mildly claustrophobic;
    when clouds cannot rain’
    ‘wildly claustrophobic;
    when tears cannot reign’..


  10. whimsygizmo
    May 22, 2018 @ 10:52:57

    I love the staccato feel of this, and the double “rain/reign.” Perfect.


  11. Frank Hubeny
    May 22, 2018 @ 09:19:42

    It does seem more claustrophobic when the clouds can’t rain.


  12. sanaarizvi
    May 22, 2018 @ 08:15:48

    This is absolutely awe-inspiring Lynn! 💜💜


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