in memorium

We lament with this family suffering awe-ful grief. Beloved infants lost at 26 weeks gestation; twin grandbabies happily anticipated. Expectant mother, more than halfway through pregnancy, heard heartbeats and viewed ultrasounds but no more… no more expectations, no more movement, no more fast swooshing of babies’ hearts beating their distinct rhythms. Only mother’s lonely heart beats now, heavy with slow sorrow.

The relentless spring rains mirror this drowning grief. Tears falling in torrents, flooded emotions. Erosion of the soul. What kind of broken world is this, where little lives can be cut short by the cord that was their lifeline? We may ask “why?” yet not receive an acceptable answer to the anguished questions. We have only our faith in God himself to cling to. Lord, have mercy on your children. As we remember precious twins taken; remember us too, for we are dust.

 

grief’s painful journeyIMG_1344 copy

rosebuds fade…family mourns

inadequate words

 

 

 

 

 

 

lament for erica anne

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hear our anguished cries, O God!
why do the loveliest ones die young?

she had her daddy’s perceptive eyes
that saw beyond this world’s pretense;

she had her mother’s tender heart
that loved beyond this world’s ache.

Erica belonged to a better, purer world.

depression’s demons
pushed her till she fell,
desperate to escape.

her mortal body broken but
her timeless spirit caught in
arms of compassion
and carried home,

like lost lamb on gentle
Shepherd’s shoulders…

Lord, carry us in our grief!

 

 


For my friend and family who lost their sweet daughter/sister. Read Erica’s obituary here.

inheritance of fools

Wrote this “grey haibun” to share at dVerse Poets pub…

 

A mist of grey grief hangs over us all. Roll call of promising youth, senselessly gunned down before their prime, grows irreversibly longer even as numbers of disconnected, angry youth swell precipitously. Education leaves God out, letting demons in.

Hate disrespects human dignity. Rage destroys human life. Violence disregards meaning of community. Selfishness and rudeness rule (un)social media. We refuse to walk in the life-giving Light; choosing to crawl into the darkness of our own souls.

The civilization of Man is graying fast. Without fear of God, we will fear each other.  Beauty of human culture  fades. We follow a suicidal path and wonder how to write our own obituary.

 

ashes to ashes

ravens cry over ruins

grey twilight descends

 

 


An insightful article regarding philosophical reasons for school shootings HERE

 

for Jean’s children

In honor of a dear family friend,  Jean (Holtrop) Sears.  For Sheila and Lon…

 

Grief is the thief
who steals our full
attention so abruptly
we lose focus on life.

Surprised by final loss
at end of long goodbye;
when body outlasts mind,
death’s blow is blunt reality

We cry for ourselves for
becoming motherless children
as we hold scattered memories
forever in our shattered hearts.

Sweet memories to keep
of one-and-only mother love;
wrapped in timely words, tight hugs,
and eyes smiling through tears.

Remember holiday gatherings with
enough food to feed a small army,
provision of a place to come home;
giving thanks for family and friends.

She encouraged us to be our best
but even if we disappointed her
forgiveness could always be found;
right now can be a new beginning.

Her loving influence yet evident,
revealed in lives of grandchildren;
by faith, she’s in God’s presence
and we will follow on the journey.

taking leave(s)

My “tan renga” response to “hokku” at Carpe Diem Haiku Kai…

 

the willow leaves fallen,
the spring gone dry,
rocks here and there

© Yosa Buson (1716-1784)

past memories in scrapbooks
photographic mind fading

(c) lynn__

a dream in a dream
sand slipping through old fingers
autumn leaves turn red

© Georgia

final glory of seasons
grief and love in letting go

(c) lynn__

 

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photo by lynn

seems only the best are taken

To honor Rallyn Van Beek, Betty Mennega, Kara Tippets, Phyllis Meerdink, and Ed Zomermaand; whose loss is grieved, whose memory is treasured, whose faith is rewarded!

pilgrims on a journey

through lonely valley

of uncertain, unchosen

battles of aging, cancer,

treatments, injury and pain.

how to understand it?

how to go on? one step by

wobbly step, one tough day to next;

Spirit lifts struggling saints

 in present hard grief to

glimpse higher vision.

their suffering redeemed by

the Father for holy purpose as

spirits grow ever stronger

with time, faith and courage.

dying is simply a

passageway to paradise,

true rest, complete healing;

they know the Prince of Peace

who calls and carries them home.

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photo: “Rose of Sharon” (crown anemone) in “Promised Land” (Israel)

collateral damage

 

Groping slow-motion, sluggish

from sweetly dreamless sleep to

grasp thin robe, grab slippers in dark

to investigate the insistent rapping

on dorm room door.

 

Startle at troubled faces in collar and uniform;

an awkward visitation of starless midnight.

Stumble backwards toward rumpled bed,

mental fog pierced clean through as

unthinkable words erase reality.

 

No, dear God, NO!

Push the black panic away,

the fierce pain back into the Pit.

This monster is too horrible…

The incomprehensible can NOT happen!

 

Now dressed in fragile, trembling resolve

Must identify the broken bodies of beloved.

Bloodied, bruised by a violent vault of metal.

On white sheets, the cold tearless truth is blinding–

Absolutely alone on an axis-less earth.

 

Past numbing decisions and funeral’s fatigue,

grief rises from mounded grave sites

to suffocate this single survivor.

Nightmares and misery move in with baggage;

Wild sobs drown out the phone’s sad ringtones.

 

Anger burns at Death’s unrelenting greed;

flashes hot questions at God — “Why did YOU allow this?!”

Turns away from helpless friends’ futile comfort;

bends inward on already shell-shocked soul as

depressed thoughts, ghastly guilt clutch the mind.

 

Without permission, days and seasons move on,

and the others dare to go on living,  apart.

Faith’s mystery is always the epic struggle;

whether or not to trust…

to accept the inexplicable…beyond belief.

 

 

(With prayers for Brittany Vollmer who lost her family on February 23, 2013.)